There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
