did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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