i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
