My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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