walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
