Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
