What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
whose parrot is this?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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