Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
