Having a random hookup so left but love u
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
