Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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