I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
