So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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