I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
