she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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