so that wasnt chicken after all
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
