So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am puke
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
