I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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