yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need to sanitize my soul.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
