who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
