i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
