i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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