This is not my ceiling
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you had me at cake vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
50% drunk capacity currently
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
