That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
