ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
