I'm jealous of your bromance
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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