Where is the hickey?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
