Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
