Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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