we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
