oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
