You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
