she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
