Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
