I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We named our party play list daddy issues
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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