Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
