You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
