If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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