Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
