Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
