i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
