i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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