2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
