I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
