Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
