True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
