I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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