Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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