i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my shit smells like andre
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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