I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
