I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
