No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
